I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
