my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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