i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
