he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize