I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
