My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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