you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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