Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
