My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
