Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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