***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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