Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
