so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
