Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
