Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
