areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
