these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize