don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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