I got chris browned last night
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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