i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
