That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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