know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
organizing the empties. That sober.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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