Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize