once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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