I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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