I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
