Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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