there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
