we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
