you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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