i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
