somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
