This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
