i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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