You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
