I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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