It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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