I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
