You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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