is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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