My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
