You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize