miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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