Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Randomize
