the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
