I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
