if you like me you must not know who I am
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
