Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
