i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
