smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
