I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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