ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
they need to just BURY HIM!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
