first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
