You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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