Nicole vs. Life
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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