i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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