you win again, gameday.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize