im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
