i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
