dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
