Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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