Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
